Breakfast at Stoneleigh
(with the Dougalls)

Ingredients

Sketch

Hazel patrols the area of devastation and picks up the table: "What a mess from last night?"

Hazel carefully sets the table and mumbles: "Now, we’ve got matching plates and bowls. Everything is ready!"

Hazel lays out potato scones and some fresh toast and then shouts in a delightfully shrill voice: "Good morning, everyone. Time for breakfast!

Alan squirms: Have you cleaned your teeth yet, Hazel?

Hazel replies indignantly: "I’ve just got up !"

Alan shakes everyone out of bed and shouts: "Come on, Micah. Get up! You must have slept at least half-an-hour."

Hazel: "Now, who wants toast?"

Alan declares: "This toast is white and soggy! I like it burnt – and I like to taste the butter – not drink it! Can you re-do this one?"

Jenny (/Keziah) studies what has been put on her plate and exclaims: "Mummy, what are these green bits? This scone is mouldy. What is the sell-by-date anyway?"

Keren: "Wow! It’s dated August 1st !"

Jenny (/Keziah): "Can I have some toast instead?"

Hazel: "Here you are, Keziah"

Jenny (/Keziah): "This is burnt! I like my toast just lightly done on one side with melted butter!"

…mobile phone rings…

Jenny (/Keziah): "It’s for me! Somebody loves me."

Micah pours groans: "Mu…mm….y…. What is this? It’s like rabbit food. It’s got nuts in it! Where are the Frosties?"

Keren: "Where’s the cookie tin. I want a cookie." Keren opens the tin and rakes around for the one she wants.

Micah shouts: "Don’t touch every biscuit! Somebody else has to eat them. When did you last wash your hands anyway?"

Alan: "How come I’ve ended up with this tiny glass? I cannot drink out of this. It’s not big enough. Where’s my favourite mug?"

Hazel screams: "I’m fed up! I cannot take any more. Can’t you lot grow up and feed yourselves? I suppose you want me to spoon-feed you all as well."

Keren laughs "Yes, that would be fun! Just like you used to."

Hazel cuts up the toast and lifts a small square piece to put in Keren’s mouth: "Open wide!"

Everyone freezes (until dismissed).